My Passion - Part 1

I was a very average student back then. Well, in Tadika Ikhwan (now PASTI Ikhwan) (1988-1989), Sekolah Rendah Islam Al-Farabi (1990-1995) and Sekolah Rendah Agama Kg. Delek (1993-1995) I was quite a scorer ;) I didn't take UPSR, because SRIF-a private school just started at that time. But I did take SPRA (now PSRA) and I got 89.8%. Abah had applied Sekolah Agama Menengah Tinggi Hisamuddin (now Sekolah Agama Menengah Tinggi Sultan Hisamuddin) in Kg. Jawa for me, and I had to stay in hostel back in 1996 when I was in Form 1. Form 1 Aminah at that time.

SAMTSH is until now quite a big school. Big, in terms of the students achievements. Sekolah orang2 yang pandailah senang cakap, out of the schools in Selangor ni. But still bagus tak bagus pelajar bukanlah pada sekolah 100%. Ia sebenarnya lebih cenderung kepada pelajar itu sendiri. Buktinya, pelajar Sekolah Menengah Islam Al-Farabi (SMIF), pun pernah ada straight-A student.. best student PMR 2009, 8A-Mohd. Khairul Nizam Abdul Ghani. Saya cuma dapat 3A sahaja di SAMTH pada tahun 1998. Semua salah saya sendiri... Banyak main, mula duduk rumah after 2 years stayed in the hostel, alasannya, nak tuisyen luar... Tapi adakah betul2 tuisyen??

Walaubagaimanapun, dengan 3A saya mendapat tawaran untuk menyambung Tingkatan 4 di Sekolah Teknik Klang dalam jurusan Perniagaan. Namun dengan hati yang tidak rela, saya menyambung pengajian di SAMTH dan mengambil Sijil Menengah Agama (SMA). Jika Tingkatan 1 saya di kelas Aminah (masuk secara rawak, tanpa ada ranking kelas), Tingkatan 2 saya di kelas Fatimah, kelas ke-4 daripada 6 kelas. Tingkatan 3 saya di kelas Zainab, kelas ke-5. Oh, makin merosot rupanya... Hm... Masuk ke Tingkatan 4, saya kekal di kelas Zainab :) kelas ke-5 daripada 5 kelas :( Menjadi batch pertama SPM Tingkatan 4 yang mengambil sijil terbuka, Pengajian Syariah Islamiyyah, Pendidikan Al-Quran dan As-Sunnah, Prinsip Akaun dan Matematik Tambahan sebagai subjek elektif. Tetapi, pada Peperiksaan Akhir Tahun, markah Add Math saya ialah 5/100. Saya dan beberapa rakan senasib dipanggil cikgu. Kami diberi pilihan untuk sama ada meneruskan atau menukar subjek Add Math kepada Ekonomi Asas. Saya memilih untuk mengambil subjek Ekonomi Asas. Mula belajar Ekonomi Asas di Tingkatan 5 Fatimah (masih kelas terakhir), Ekonomi Asas Tingkatan 5 pada waktu persekolahan dan Tingkatan 4 pada setiap Sabtu (kelas tambahan-Terima kasih Cikgu Hajar)

Tidak minat dengan subjek SMA, saya buat deal dengan mak saya, "Ma, leh tak akak tak lulus SMA?", "SMA tu untuk ape?", "SMA tu, kalau lulus leh amik STAM, pastu leh g Mesir.." jawab saya jujur. "Ok," Mama bagi green light. Tapi saya masih ingat, saya ada jugak hafal sikit2. Terutamanya subjek Feqah Tauhid, subjek yang saya agak minat, sebab agak senang dan saya dapat Jayyid untuk subjek tersebut dan Maqbul (Lulus) untuk semua subjek lain.

Naik ke Tingkatan 5, saya makin nakal, keluar bandar dan balik rumah tanpa izin. (Saya masuk semula ke asrama, kononnya nak struggle untuk SPM selepas 2 tahun duduk di rumah - banyak menghadap tv). Akhirnya keputusan SPM saya tersangatlah sederhana. BM-3B, BI-6C, BAT-5C, Math-5C, Sains-3B, Sejarah-4B, PSI-5C, PQS-5C, Prinsip Akaun-8E dan Ekonomi Asas-5C.

That is why I said I was a very average student.

After SPM, I had applied for Matrix, UPU as well as Polytechnic. After Raya in 2001, in the age of 18, I applied to work as a cashier in Mydin, Klang Town while waiting for University offers. I didn't get thru to Matrix, UPU neither Polytechnic in May intake. So, I had to continue the working. End of the year I had applied for Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) and Alhamdulillah.. Rezeki Allah bagi.. I was accepted as the student of Office Management and Technology Faculty undertaking Diploma of Office Management and Technology and that was the beginning... - to be continued.. :)

Trust Me

Trust me,

That I’ve been there,

Through the hard times and the fear,

Of losing and falling..

Trust me,

That I’ve been there,

Facing the day of everyday,

With loads of load,

And all the naggings..

Trust me,

I was bored too,

To listen to the very same,

Things about the dos and the don’ts

Like I’d never been told before..

But trust me,

You just got to follow,

‘cause it’s not for us,

But you, and of course,

Lillaahi Ta’ala…

by T.R

Bersama - Devotees

Kita pernah bersama
Menempuh onak dan duka
Tidak pernah putus asa
Walau dugaan datang melanda

Dikau pernah bertanya
Bila bahgia akan tiba
Ku berkata bersabarlah
Serahkan saja pada yang ESA

Bila masanya menjelma
Kebahgiaan akan tiba
Namun tidak mungkin ku lupa
Kenangan indah kita bersama

Menempuh onak cabaran
Dan liku hidup yang panjang
Tidak mungkin hidup ini sepi
Selagi ku masih di sini

Kita pernah bersama
Menempuh onak dan duka
Tidak pernah putus asa
Walau dugaan datang melanda

Bila masanya menjelma
Kebahgiaan akan tiba
Namun tidak mungkin ku lupa
Kenangan indah kita bersama

Menempuh onak cabaran
Dan liku hidup yang panjang
Tidak mungkin hidup ini sepi
Selagi ku masih di sini

Kini terungkai sudah
kisah hidup kita
Berbekal taat dan sabar
Pastikan berjaya

PurpleLilac: is listening to the song on IKIM.fm while writing this post, MODE: Teringat kenangan tahun lepas... Walaupun apa terjadi... I still love my students... Anytime, Anywhere... Sampai Bila2... They have my prayers... Always...

Mr. Bruny & Mr. Blobby

I don't know.. these two names stuck in my mind.. they are actually the names of two soft toys belong to Hani, my eldest niece. I was there, in Pak Long's (her grandfather) house, in Bangsar when I met her, Mr. Bruny and Mr. Blobby. :) I can still remember since we (my family and my married cousins' family) keep visiting each other, I will always have a story to tell to my students. Stories about all the nieces and nephews (by the way, there are now 2 nieces and 7 nephews). But out of 9 cucu2 pak long ni, I can get along with 3 of them, especially Hani, Amani and Faris. 3 of them are still babies, so, takdela dorang nk bercakap. They are 3 of them yang memang susah sket I nk bercakap gn dorang ni.. Farhan, Kak Roshin's eldest, memang kurang communicate dgn orang as I can see. Yg dua orang Kak Buddy's ni.. Harith and Arif.. finally last night, I managed to chat with them. Last time, only Hani spoke with me, may be because she already 7 at that time (last year). But recently, Amani do can talk with me :) There were quite a lot we had talked about :) And it happened when I met her the next time, she approached me, "Hi, Auntie Rinie," I like it :)

Sitting on the couch from left: Abg Zul, Kak Buddy (Rozwin) holding baby Rifqi, Faris, Amani, Firas and Farhan.

On the floor: Arif, Hani, Baby Imran and Harith.

Most people love kids.. Yelah, dorang xde dosa.. innocent, most of the time they will tell the truth and never disappoint us instead of cheer us up. So do I. These two boys of Kak Buddy, Harith and Arif never speak a word to me before. They seem shy to the people they don't really get used to. But I'm happy that I have succeed to talk to them yesterday. :)

What have made me happy to finally get the chance to speak with them yesterday? The answer is because I love chatting with them. I love chatting with Hani, Amani and Faris before and even happier I can chat with Harith and Arif. And what is the point that I love chatting with them instead of others? The answer is, because they speak in ENGLISH. :)

Before, I can see that they only communicate among them. And I, am of course happy coz I am able to interfere them ;P Well, my English is not that good anyway. Broken and with grammatical error. Hehe.. but I don't care. As long as they can understand me. But what is important that I feel that I can improve my English as I do the practice with them. I believe so. Like it or not, not many places that I have to practice my English orally.

I kinda like English Language, may be that is why I'm teaching English even though I'm not really good at it. In my school, teaching English is quite a challenge. It is subject that students don't really study compared to Maths, Science etc. They take very little attention to this subject. These are the facts. I know. I am too still studying, learning English, the best method to teach and how make students have more liking and interested to learn and study English.

"Tak aci, students boleh tau banyak perkataan dalam Bahasa Inggeris tapi tak banyak yang dorang tau dalam Bahasa Arab, sedangkan dorang belajar Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Arab dalam tempoh yang sama (belajar kedua2 B.I dan B.A dari darjah satu - most of the students in my school)," This is said by my Fiance, an Arabic Teacher in my school. In my school, it is quite an issue jugak.. belajar B.I beriya, B.A tak suka. Padahal Bahasa Arab tu bahasa syurga. When my students said, malas la nak belajar B.A, susahla, malas la nak amik SMA (Sijil Menengah Agama).. I always challenge them, I am an English Teacher, not that good in Arabic subject, but I was able to get Maqbul, which is at least Pass for the certificate. If you are like me, which can only get Maqbul for your SMA, you should be at least a teacher, teaching English like me.. yelah, dah malas@tak minat belajar Bahasa Arab, konon2 subject lain macam contohnya Bahasa Inggeris kenala rajin@minatkan.. I always said to them too, that you are at lose if you are not learning Arabic well by now, coz i just did. Dah besar2, umur cam ni baru nak catch up balik, I wish that I could learn Arabic well in my school days coz now I wanted to easily understand Al-Quran verses.. but I just grateful for at least I have the basic and hopefully later my husband will teach me :) (husband- sebab bile nti dah jadi suami ;)

For instance, in Islam, learning is compulsory, we have to learn with Kalamullah - Al-Quran, The Miracle given by Allah to His Messenger, The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, p.b.u.h... We also have to learn with the surroundings. Everything around us, the trees, the grass, the wind, the clouds, the sun, the moon, the stars... I know I can learn with those kids.. Ustaz Dr. Haji Zahazan Mohamad once said "Learning English is a Fardhu Kifayah", sunat yang dituntut... it will definitely give us a lot of benefits, advantages and chances especially if we are in industry.

For my students, I wish they can learn English well, in class or outside the class and afterwards and also other subjects like Arabic, Maths and Science. I learned a bit of Mandarin, it is fun to speak Huayu with wo hen hao de pengyou Sakinah :) My nieces and nephews is the place to me to practice English, I got Sakinah to practice Mandarin and may be I can practice Arabic with my husband, later laa.. ;)

EXACTLY

i am exactly where i need to be

i need to be exactly where i am
i am a blessing manifest
i can undress the moment
naked time unwinds beneath my mind
and from within i find the kind of beauty
only i can find

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am surrendering so willingly
to be the perfect me inside this now
and truly how else could it be
destiny she blesses me
destiny she blesses me
when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am divinely timed and shining brightly
yes i believe that there’s a purpose just for me
yes i believe that we are light
and we shine infinitely

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am not aimlessly existing see
i am in perfect harmony with universal energy
and i am truly free when i accept my own divinity
look at me look at me closely
tell me exactly what you see
if you are paying attention you will now begin ascension of the mind
why, because if you look at me just right you will see a kiss
for it took a kiss to make this breath exist
the intersection of my mother’s and father’s lips
to touch twist and perfect what came next to produce me

look at me and you will see the breeze
the breeze it took to shake the leaves to make
my mother’s hair move, my father dare touch it and say
please may i have a kiss
yes the breeze made me exist
and if you want to get even deeper into this
when you look at me you will see a cloud
the cloud it took to form the storm to make the breeze shake the leaves to
inspire the liplock – yes a raindrop will pop up out these words
you heard me right

if you look at me close enough you will see a dark stormy night
and what is night
well night ain’t night without its polar opposite of sunlight
so if you watch the way my hands sway
you’ll see the light of day
and everyday is a testament to the sediment of the earth’s core
it’s ever spinning enormous force so if you look at me just right
you will see a spark of the source
but the most fascinating thing about this, and it’s true
is that if you look at me just right, you see you
it’s only what you perceive how you believe the space between
you and me
that creates reality

so when i sing you can feel it
when i cry you can heal it
when i speak words you can be the words i speak by singing with me
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free

when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be
and when i am alone and full of fear
i just remember the rising sun always appears
everyday miracles, miracles that i see
well they take me back
they take me back
they take me back
to exactly where i need to be

by Amy Spielberg

- taken from http://this-inspired-life.blogspot.com/